Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Potential & Kinetic Writing Sample

 WALT: inform 

DESCRIPTION: Write an explanation about something you have learned about energy.

What? We are publishing a piece of writing.
Why? To share on our blog and during our Student Led Conference.
When? Week 6
Who? The World

Your post must have a:
Title (capital letters for beginning of each word)
Image - something visual for the reader 
Evaluation - how well do I think I did (target/criteria)
Feedback/feedforward from buddy/teacher/parent

Description: my writing is about kinetic and potential energy. It explains how newtons cradle works. Also it explains that kinetic and potential energy are not the same thing. Sir Isaac Newton created the newtons cradle.  

My writing 

What is kinetic energy? Is it a heat energy? Is it a light energy? It's neither! Kinetic energy is a moving type of energy.  
Kinetic energy can transfer from place to place. ( potential energy sits there because it is a still type of energy. ) Sir Isaac Newton is the creator of newtons cradle. If you take a newtons cradle for example hold one of the end balls of the newtons cradle and that represents potential energy because - ( the newtons cradle is always equal. The balls in the middle don't move because they are being supported by the end balls so the kinetic energy goes straight through them and into the end ball so that means the first ball starts with all the kinetic energy. But when the balls stop that's when they run out of kinetic energy.) Newton's three laws were about kinetic and potential energy- (and how that kinetic energy can move through different objects.)Kinetic energy has the ability to move from place to place. 
Sir Isaac Newton knew that the kinetic energy would go through the balls and hit the end ball with that energy.
In conclusion kinetic energy in moving and potential energy in still.
Anything that moves will have kinetic energy in it. 

By Olivia Bovey 

Peer comment: WOW Olivia what a great piece of writing, I like how you explained what newtons cradle is. I give you an 8/10. Lili 
Self comment: I think I did well because I really explained how kinetic energy worked through the balls. I give myself an 9/10 because I had to edit a lot but I got there in the end.
Teacher comment: You have started with a main point at the start of your  body paragraph. 

include evidence (facts, experiments etc) to support my main point

I really like how you have developed an example tha might be new to the reader

explain the evidence and how it proves my main point

You have persevered to try to explain how/why your example proves your point - this is really tricky, well done.

Practise writing a linkingsentence to my next paragraph

Your ideas link in your paragraphs. Have a look at how writers link between paragraphs.

infuse style: topic-specifc vocab, second/third person, present tense, transition words

Great style. You have used some transition words.

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