Wednesday, 19 August 2015


Description: In Troys writing group we are focusing on sentences. I am working on a mixture of short and long sentences. I am trying to get better at this by making short, suspenseful sentences and long, awesome sentences!

Big idea: My goal is to use a mixture of short and long sentences in my writing. I always use long sentences, so my prioritie is to focus on my short sentences. We got a picture ( it's down at the bottom of my post. My iPad go's weird sometimes ) and we were motivated by this outstanding photo!

Feedback & Feedforward: I liked how you added a personal voice and your twist to the story, Sadly, there was nothing bad in this story, escept for the swearing, but that is my opinion, so it was all awesome!   - Rileigh :D

Evaluation: I agree with Rileigh ( not meaning to brag ) I think I did a great job, probably my best piece of writing yet! I used a great mixture of short and long sentences which is my goal. I'll just need to work on my speech marks like my inverted commars. - Me :D

1 comment:

  1. Olivia, the personal voice in your story is so strong, I can almost hear you reading it to me as I read it. I love the way you were able to link the image to your very emotive piece. You well and truly hooked the reader in and I love all the fish references to everyday life, Just Awesome!