Big idea: My goal is to use a mixture of short and long sentences in my writing. I always use long sentences, so my prioritie is to focus on my short sentences. We got a picture ( it's down at the bottom of my post. My iPad go's weird sometimes ) and we were motivated by this outstanding photo!
Feedback & Feedforward: I liked how you added a personal voice and your twist to the story, Sadly, there was nothing bad in this story, escept for the swearing, but that is my opinion, so it was all awesome! - Rileigh :D
Evaluation: I agree with Rileigh ( not meaning to brag ) I think I did a great job, probably my best piece of writing yet! I used a great mixture of short and long sentences which is my goal. I'll just need to work on my speech marks like my inverted commars. - Me :D