Wednesday, 3 June 2015


This is my writing....
In troys sentence group we watched a movie about a mouse that was different. We had to recreate our own version of the story in writing. The red are the complex sentences in my writing. My story is about a Rottweiler puppy called Luna Pawz. She has been passed on for so long, just because she has a disabilitie. Read the story to find out more!

Big idea: My goal is complex sentence. In case you want a little reminder here is an exsample.
- Luna is a dog - simple sentence 
-Luna is a dog, with really fluffy fur- Complex sentence

Please enjoy :) 

Evaluation: I think I did well on my writing because I know I used a lot of complex sentences. If this story hooks me in then it should hook others in. I think I could work I just putting in the speech marks when my characters talk. Overall I think I did really well.

Feedback/feedforward: You have some great complex sentences and a lot of them. You have very detailed writing. Next time you could maybe put some short sentences in because you have a lot of long sentences.   -Georgia :D 

1 comment:

  1. Olivia, I am really impressed with the strong understanding you have of complex sentences. You have utilised these very well in your story and as a result, it makes for an easy read. You next step is to make the dialogue between your characters more interesting.